Alibi
by kinseyjo
Summary: And he'll tell her he's workin' late again... but she knows too well that somethin's goin' on...
1. Chapter 1

A/N: In celebration of tonight's new episode (that is TOTALLY going to get Chris another emmy nomination that he better WIN this time!!!) here is the first chapter of Alibi! It's going to be multi-chap, from a few different POV's. Little background… remember season 3, that episode with John "Hawk" Hawkins? Remember how Elliot told Hawk that Liv just didn't like him? Well what if she DID? What if she did so much that they were married? By the way, it is a little OOC for these two. Just go with me on this. Read it. There's EO, and it's rated M. You won't be disappointed, I swear. XO! KJ

Disclaimer: Only my overactive imagination belongs to me!

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I'd first met John Hawkins when I took a refresher course through the New York police academy. I was trying to get some more credentials under my belt to see if I could get a promotion at the Federal Bureau of Investigation. He taught the class and the whole time, there was this constant spark between us. He was intense, but not so intense that he wasn't also incredibly charismatic. I couldn't stop staring at him all through the week-long class and on the last day, he asked me for my phone number. I handed it over, not expecting him to ever call. I figured that he had just caught my shameless staring and was trying to humor me. But a few days later, call me he did, and we went out on the first of an endless string of dates. We dated for about a year, and got married shortly thereafter. We went to Hawaii with only his parents and siblings present. My mother had died the year before I met Hawk.

I remember the night I met my husband's partner for the first time like it was five seconds ago. As if I was still standing in his presence in my short red dress and stiletto "do me" heels. Heels that he would see me in again. Heels that would be the only article of clothing on my body the first time he made love to me.

Hawk and I had been married about a year, and he was always telling stories about his partner – this Elliot Stabler guy. Good Catholic. Married to his high school sweetheart. Four kids. He sounded like a pretty stand-up guy, but Hawk always said he had a lot of rage. Rage that he kept bottled up inside. I could understand that. My husband was the same way. I knew the cases he and his partner dealt with as detectives in the special victims unit of the New York Police Department were very different from my work with the FBI. I'm not sure special victims is something I could ever do. The cases they deal with are some of the most heinous in the city. Rapes, child molestation, elder abuse, that sort of thing. It would hit way too close to home for me. In 1967, my mother was going to Columbia University and working in the dining hall to pay her tuition. On her way home one night, a man snuck up behind her and attacked her, later raping her. I'm the product of that rape. Never did a day go by when my mother let me forget it, either. Either by hitting me, yelling at me, or just plain getting so drunk she didn't realize I was there. I don't know how dealing with victims of the same heinous crime my mother faced would affect me. Especially knowing that their children could face the same thing I did. Deal with the same demons in their mothers that I had to deal with in mine. I think Hawk carries the knowledge that his mother-in-law was raped, and that his wife is a product of that rape, with him on every case. He works tirelessly to get justice for the victims.

Elliot and Hawk had been partners for almost ten years; looking back I don't know why I didn't press to meet Elliot or Kathy before I did. Maybe it was my subconscious telling me something was off. My husband was kind of a loner, the kind of guy who wanted to leave work at work, even though he admitted that Elliot was his best friend. They were just "work" best friends. When he was home, he wanted to spend time with me.

Anyway, Hawk had been telling me Elliot stories all week, and I suggested that maybe we should get together with Elliot and his wife, Kathy. She hadn't ever met me or Hawk, and I thought it might be nice to make a friend who was a fellow cop's wife. He agreed to talk to Elliot the next day and see if he and Kathy would be available for dinner that Friday night.

I remember walking in to the restaurant and seeing the most gorgeous man I'd ever met in my life. I was a sucker for Hawk with his square jaw and "Wyatt Earp" attitude, but something about_ this_ guy just struck me. Right in the heart and right between my thighs. He was simply amazing to look at. Huge blue eyes, a little-boy smile, dark brown hair with a slight receding hairline, a wide chest and these awesome arms. Arms that I chastised myself for fantasizing about being wrapped in. What was I thinking? What had become of Mrs. John J. Hawkins?

"Hawk," he'd greeted my husband.

"Hey man. Honey, this is Elliot. Elliot, this is my wife, Olivia."

"Nice to meet you," he said, shaking my hand. He had a powerful grip but his hand still felt so gentle wrapped around mine. I let myself wonder, for just a second, what those hands would feel like roaming the rest of my body. "This is my wife, Kathy," he'd said. "Kathy, this is my partner, John Hawkins, and his wife, Olivia," Elliot introduced. Looking back, I should have picked up on how Hawk and Kathy both seemed a little bit uncomfortable. But I was so focused on how my name rolled off his tongue. Slipping back into my dirty fantasy, I wondered what it would sound like… louder. If he screamed it when he was about to come. Or softer. If he whispered it when he came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me and snuck his hands under my shirt.

I pushed these thoughts away and shook hands with his wife. I remember thinking how stunningly beautiful Kathy Stabler was, with her long blonde hair and big blue eyes. She carried herself with an air of confidence. When my husband or hers would make a joke, she would laugh flirtatiously, like they were the funniest guys she'd met in her life. She had a sparkling wit, and a brilliant mind. I felt somehow inadequate next to her. I wondered if Hawk was noticing how classically beautiful she was next to me, his mousy wife. I remember later, when I must have been showing these insecurities, Hawk whispering in my ear that I was a knock-out and never to forget it. That calmed me.

For about six months. Until I figured out the secret.

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A/N: What do you think so far? Think you know what's happening? Let me know, I'm excited to see your guesses! XO, Kinsey Jo


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Wow! 20 reviews (okay, 19. COME ON! One more person review chapter one!) for one chapter! That's awesome ladies, thank you! I was thinking about this story and where I really want to go with it… I love this song so much and I have some great ideas, but when I re-read Chapter 1, I set some real hurdles for myself… but I'm up for the challenge! R&R this chapter – XO, KJ

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By the time Elliot officially introduced me to his partner, we'd already met. And developed a relationship. Only he didn't know it. Neither did John Hawkins's wife. I have always felt a little guilty about it, but the first time John's wife met my husband? The way she looked at him? It was like she could see right through his clothes. Sort of absolved me of a little of that guilt. I know she'd try to get into my husband's pants if she could. Tramp. But if she was a tramp, what the hell was I for sleeping with her husband? Hell, she was just _thinking_ about sleeping with Elliot. What did that make me?

I remember the day Elliot found out who his new partner was going to be. He called me at the hospital at lunch. I'd just finished cleaning up after helping Dr. Johnson run the ER after a six car pile-up.

"Nurse's station, this is Kathy," I said, picking up the phone.

"Hey baby," his smooth voice said.

"Hey, El, what's up?"

"Not much, just found out who my new partner's going to be," he said.

"Who?" I asked, taking a swig out of my water bottle.

"Guy's name is John Hawkins."

I coughed, sucking water into my lungs.

"John Hawkins?" I asked.

"Yeah. Used to work in Homicide. Have you ever met him?" Elliot knew it was possible I'd met John, since I was usually the charge nurse in the ER.

"I don't think so," I lied.

_Yeah I've met him. Seen him naked. Since, you know, we've been having an affair for six months. Didn't I mention that_?

--

The day Elliot came home from work and asked if I wanted to go to dinner with Hawk and Olivia… I nearly died. I knew he knew. He had to know. _I_ knew. When I looked in the mirror all I could see was my scarlet letter.

"Hey, baby, how was your day?" he asked, coming up behind me in the kitchen.

"Mmmm. It was good," I said, relaxing back into his embrace. "Delivered a set of twins today," I said. "Emergency cesarean after a bad car wreck. They're both doing okay. Little girl and a little boy. Little girl looked just like Lizzie when she was born," I smiled.

"Hard to believe our twins are already eight, isn't it?" he asked, burying his face in my neck.

"It is… third grade. Can't believe it."

"Think we should have another?" he'd asked.

I snorted. "You're not serious."

"Why not? Maybe we can start trying Friday night. After we have dinner with Hawk and Olivia."

I stiffened, and cursed myself.

"What's wrong, honey? We don't have to have another baby. It was just a thought," he said.

"N-nothing. It's not about the baby thing. I, uh, I… Janet and Mike wanted us to go to dinner with them on Friday."

"Oh, I already told Hawk we would, Kath. Can we go with Janet and Mike next weekend?"

"I'm sure that'd be fine," I lie. Fuck. That'll be fun. Dinner with my husband, my boyfriend and his wife. Super.

Later that night, when I was sure my husband was dead asleep, I snuck out to the kitchen and dialed Hawk's cell phone number.

"Hawkins," he answered.

"It's me," I said.

"What's up?" he asked. I could hear Olivia in the background, asking him who was on the phone. "It's Elliot, babe. Go back to sleep."

I rolled my eyes at his excuse, the same one he always made to her when he was going to meet me. We'd been carrying on this affair undetected for five years; Hawk had said he didn't want to stop when he married Olivia.

"Okay. I'm in the kitchen. What's going on?" he asked.

"Oh, you know. Not much. YOU FUCKING INVITED US TO DINNER?" I whisper fiercely.

"Calm down, baby. Olivia. Olivia invited you guys to dinner. She wants to meet you. She thinks you guys could be friends."

"Well I'm sure we could. We seem to have similar taste in men. Except, you know, one of us is married to him and the other one is just sleeping with him," I ranted.

"Kathy, seriously. Calm down. I've worked enough undercover cases, I know how to look like I have no idea who you are."

"Newsflash, Hawk. I'm a nurse. When I'm familiar with a man's anatomy, I can't really hide it."

"Just relax, baby. Why don't you meet me?"

"Uh, no. I think we need to not see each other until we officially meet tomorrow night."

"Fine. Just relax, okay? It'll be fine."

"Sure. Sure it will. Goodnight, John," I said with a sigh, hanging up on him.

"Mom?" I whipped around to see my twelve-year-old daughter Kathleen standing behind me.

"Katie, what are you doing out of bed?" I asked, wondering how much she'd heard.

"I came down to get a drink. Chill, Mom. Who were you talking to?" she asked.

"Your uncle John," I lied, praying she'd believe it was my younger brother on the phone instead of my lover.

"How come he called so late?"

"Just needed to talk to his big sister. You know how it is," I teased her.

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah. Except I hate my big sister."

"Stop, Kathleen. Get your drink and head back to bed," I order, hanging the cordless phone back up.

_That was close._

The next night, we stood in the restaurant waiting for Hawk and Olivia. I'd rehearsed my "nice to meet you, I've never seen you naked" face a million times. Not that it would have mattered, because my husband and Hawk's wife were so lost in each other's eyes that they wouldn't have noticed if New York City had been blown off the map right then. It made me consider that perhaps they were having an affair of their own.

_Relax, Kath. Just because you're an adulterous whore doesn't mean every other woman in the world is after _your_ husband._

"This is my wife, Kathy. Honey this is my partner Hawk, and his wife Olivia," Elliot introduced. I shook hands with both of them, trying not to look Hawk in the eye. Olivia was beautiful. Short brown hair with blonde highlights that accentuated her big brown eyes. She had olive skin, and I'd bet Elliot's pension that she looked tan in the dead of winter. She had legs that were a mile longer than mine, and she was wearing what my best friend Janet always referred to as "do me" heels and a little red dress. She was a beautiful woman and I suddenly felt inadequate next to her, even though I was the one sleeping with both of these men.

All through dinner that night, she was pretty quiet, smiling politely when Hawk or Elliot made a joke, I'd had enough to drink that I laughed obnoxiously, which unfortunately, I'm unable to help when I'm drunk. I'm sure I looked very classy. Around ten, my husband wisely decided we should be going. All four of us stood and headed for the door.

"Well, it was really nice to meet you guys," Olivia said, staring at my husband the entire time.

"You too," I interjected jealously, dragging her attention away from Elliot.

"We'll have to do it again," Hawk jumped in.

"Definitely. It was fun," Elliot said easily, taking my hand and lacing our fingers together.

The guys shook hands and Elliot pulled me for the car. "Well that was fun," he said dryly.

"Yeah. _Olivia_ seemed pretty impressed with you," I retorted.

"Kathy, stop it. You're drunk. You're seeing things."

"Sure I am. I know a woman with adultery on her mind when I see one."

_Because I see one every morning when I look in the mirror._

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A/N: Well now we know how Kathy feels… should I leave it between Olivia and Kathy or should we find out what the guys think about their respective situations? R&R, let me know! XO, Kinsey


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Hey ladies! I loved the reviews for the last chapter! But to be quite honest, I was a little surprised by those of you who really don't give a crap what those two loser boys had to think: ) Since I so love to please EVERYONE, I'm going to write a split chapter. The first half will be Hawk's pov, the second half Elliot's. That way those of you who DID want to see it, get it, and those of you who didn't, well you don't have to read as much! Hope you like! XO, KJ

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I never had any intention of cheating on my wife. But what man does? What man in his right mind wakes up next to his wife one morning and thinks "maybe I'll have an affair today?" In my defense, I was already involved with the woman I had – am having – an affair with before I even met my wife. I just… chose to see them both. I also chose to _marry_ Olivia. I would have loved to marry Kathy, but she was already married. To my partner. Now before you think I'm a _total_ schmuck, he wasn't my partner until I'd already been dating his wife for about six months. Wow. That sounds pretty bad – dating his wife.

At any rate, I used to work in the homicide unit of the New York Police Department. One night on a run up to the hospital, I met an angel. She came to me in the form of the charge nurse in the emergency room. She had this amazing curtain of blonde hair and the bluest eyes I'd ever had the pleasure of looking into. Her name was Kathy Stabler. I knew she was married, but I couldn't help but become infatuated with her. Finally, I convinced her to look past her wedding vows and meet me for coffee. That night, she poured her heart out to me, about how her husband was always so busy, too busy for her, and how she didn't even feel married anymore. She felt like he was a roommate she occasionally had sex with. I told her that was no way to live. We talked for a couple hours, and when we left the coffee shop, I kissed her. I couldn't help myself. I also couldn't help that she kissed me back. We met several times over the next few months and I gradually fell in love with her. If you knew me, you'd know what a big deal that is. John J. Hawkins doesn't fall in love. But Kathy… she just captivated me.

About six months into our relationship, I put in for a transfer. I was tired of Homicide, tired of feeling like I wasn't doing any good – the vics were already dead. My captain said Don Cragen over at Special Victims owed him a favor, so he got me in there. I knew Kathy's husband was a cop, I even knew he worked in the SVU, which put us in great danger of being found out, since I'd be working in the same unit as him. I just never dreamed that we'd end up partners.

I left it up to Kathy. If she wanted to be with me, I was willing to take the risk. If she wanted to call it off because it was too dangerous, well I'd lick my wounds and try to deal with it. She was a married woman, after all. I had no claim to her.

Lucky – unlucky? – for me, she chose to take the risk, which only served to make me love her more. She wanted to be with me so badly, she was willing to stay with me even when I worked side by side with her husband. I wanted to be with her even more.

When I met the woman who would become my wife, she was still a wet-behind-the-ears agent at the FBI. She took my class at the police academy to use it as leverage to get a promotion. I don't know if she ever expected to get a proposal with her promotion. Olivia Benson captivated me from day one. Her eyes traced my every move in class every day that week, and by the end, I had to know her outside of work. I asked for her phone number, took her on a string of dates, and the next thing I knew I was asking her to go to Hawaii and become my wife. The whole time we dated, I kept seeing Kathy. When I asked Olivia to marry me, Kathy was the first one I told. Even before my family. I wanted to give her the chance to back out of our relationship again, but I explained to her that I still loved her. I have always loved her _and _Olivia. I'm sure the department shrink would love to take a run at me for that one, but I really can't explain it. They're so different, yet I can't let go of either one of them.

After Olivia and I had been married for a year, she decided it was high time she met my partner and his wife. She asked me to invite them to dinner on a Friday night so she could meet this Elliot Stabler character I talked so much about.

I still remember the night Kathy found out about the dinner invite Olivia had issued.. She called my cell phone at midnight the night before, absolutely frantic. I'd never seen her like that, and to tell the truth, the fact that she was in such a panic about us being caught turned me on like I'd never been before. I told her to relax, that it would all be fine, and to just play it cool. I figured out that night at dinner that we could have damn near had sex on the table and our spouses never would have noticed, they were so infatuated with each other. When I introduced Olivia to Elliot, I instantly recognized the look in her eye. It was the same one I'd seen aimed at me so many times.

* * *

The thought of cheating on my wife had never crossed my mind. Until I met my partner's wife. She was such a contrast to the woman I'd spent the last sixteen years married to that she just intrigued the hell out of me. I wanted to know everything about her. She was so beautiful, with this olive toned skin, the biggest brown eyes, and the greatest smile I'd ever seen. Not to mention her legs. I'm a sucker for a nice pair of legs, and she had the nicest ones I'd ever seen. The red dress and high heels didn't hurt her cause one damn bit. Maybe I was a terrible person for the fantasy I was allowing myself to have, but hell. As long as I didn't act on it, right?

I'd been married to Kathy since I was a kid. She got pregnant with our oldest daughter Maureen when we were seniors in high school. I hope our girls don't ever buy into the story that you can't get knocked up the first time. And that my son doesn't believe anyone who tells him he can't get a girl pregnant his first time. Kathy is the only woman I've ever been with and vice versa. We were both raised in incredibly strict Catholic homes; maybe that was part of the reason for our rebellion as kids. As soon as she found out she was pregnant with Maureen, we decided to get married. Don't get me wrong, I loved her more than anything in the world, and I planned to ask her to marry me after graduation anyway. Maureen just hurried things along.

Three more great kids came out of our marriage, three years in we had another daughter, Kathleen, and then about eight years ago, we had twins, a boy and a girl, Elizabeth and Richard. My family is my whole life. But when I met Olivia, I couldn't help but want to make her a part of it, somehow, if only in my fantasies.

I'd been partners with John Hawkins for about four years when he came in to the office one day with a gold band on his left hand.

"How was your weekend?" I'd asked dryly.

"Went to Hawaii and married Olivia," he'd responded just as nonchalantly.

"Good for you. Congratulations."

And that was all we said about it. He talked about her often, she sounded like a pretty special woman. She was an agent with the FBI, which was how Hawk had met her – she took his class at the academy. He had a picture on his desk and I'd always thought she was a pretty girl. But nothing prepared me for the night I met her in person. Only one word can describe a woman like Olivia: breathtaking.

She and John had invited Kathy and me out for dinner one Friday night. John said she wanted to meet my wife, thought maybe they could be friends. I was all for it, with the long hours we work, it would be good for both of them to have a friend who understood. I told Kathy about it and she agreed to go. We met them at the restaurant and when Olivia walked in, a little part of me shut itself off from Kathy and tuned in to Olivia. Like I said, she was a stunner. The dress, the heels, the hair, the eyes, the smile, the whole package. She has this smile that lights up her entire face. I can't even begin to describe it. Besides that, she's just so damn beautiful it leaves me at a loss.

All through dinner, I couldn't help but compare her to my wife. Kathy worked long hours as a charge nurse in the emergency room, and she was constantly on her feet, which served to make her constantly tired, not to mention the fatigue from chasing four kids. She was beginning to look her age. She was average height, blue eyes and blonde hair always pulled back into a ponytail. The only time she ever took it down was when she was in the shower. She even wore that ponytail when she slept. Nothing for me to play with while we watched TV on the couch, nothing for me to run my fingers through when we made love. Just that damn ponytail. Olivia's hair was shorter than Kathy's, but she wore it in a style that made me think of sifting it through my fingers when I kissed her. One particularly interesting fantasy I allowed myself about her hair was tugging on it slightly while she was on her knees sucking me off. She'd look up at me and I'd stop, and then she'd give me a look of encouragement, those big brown eyes shining. Another contrast was the height thing. Like I said, I've always been a sucker for long legs, and I've had endless fantasies about Olivia's wrapped around my hips while I pounded into her, or wrapped around my head while I went down on her. No matter the fantasy, it always ended with her coming and screaming out to God. Or screaming "El," the nickname my wife had given me so many years ago, that I no longer wanted to hear from her lips half as much as I wanted to hear it from Olivia's. While I was wrapped in the first few of these fantasies at dinner, I barely noticed my wife getting totally sauced at dinner. When we left, I was a little embarrassed at her actions. In the car on the way home, she was drunk enough to say she thought Olivia wanted me. Right. Like I could ever get that lucky. If only I had known my wife's secret.

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Okay, so for those of you who didn't wanna know what the boys thought, what did you think? And for those who did, same question! Ha! Damn that dirty Elliot and his naughty fantasies! Just a little taste of the smut to come! Love you guys! XO, KJ


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Hey ladies! I'm so glad you liked the chapter! This isn't going to be THE smut, but it's going to be a lead in… my little eyeballs are drifting shut and I can't concentrate so I'll maybe put up THE smut tomorrow if this gets lots of R&R!! XO, KJ

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I'd had my suspicions. For a long time. I don't know what led me to make that phone call. What finally made me break? Hawk and Elliot had been working late a lot, or at least that's what Hawk was telling me. Something about it just didn't sit right. Ever since the dinner date with the Stablers, he worked more late nights than ever before. Ever since I was a kid, I've gone with my gut; the police academy just reinforced that. I knew something about this wasn't right. One night, when he was in the shower, I took Elliot's cell phone number from John's phone. I swore to myself the next time he said he was working late with Elliot, I was going to check his story. I was convinced he was having an affair and that he was using his partner as his alibi. The night had finally arrived.

The phone in the kitchen rang and I picked it up. "Hello?"

"Hey, baby, it's me." 

"Hi, Hawk."

"Look, honey, Elliot and I got stuck at the office. I'll be home in a couple hours. Don't hold dinner for me, okay?"

"Okay. I love you."

"I, uh, I love you too, Olivia. I'll see you later."

The line went dead and I hung up the phone for a moment, my hand resting on the receiver. I had to do it. I picked the phone up again and dialed the number I'd committed to memory.

"Stabler."

"Elliot?"

"Yeah?"

"It's Olivia."

"Hey."

"Hey, uh, is Hawk with you?"

"No, we wrapped up early today. Why?"

"Um, I… uh… do you think you could come over?" I ask.

"Are you okay, Olivia?"

"Yeah. Just… can you come over?"

"Sure, I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Thanks, Elliot."

I hung up the phone and immediately felt guilty for checking up on my husband, but Elliot had pretty much confirmed my suspicions. I also felt guilty for another nagging thought: if my husband was having an affair, why couldn't I? I pushed the thought out of my head; Elliot Stabler was a faithful Catholic man who loved his wife. Despite my greatest fantasies, it was highly unlikely he'd ever have a relationship with me.

I lay down on the couch and flipped on the TV to entertain myself while I waited for Elliot. I channel surfed for a few moments before landing on a show about a group of over-sexed doctors in a busy Seattle medical program. I watched mindlessly for a few moments before my thoughts started to drift. To my own desperately under-sexed life. John and I had only made love twice since the dinner date with Elliot and Kathy a month ago, and both times I couldn't orgasm until I thought of Elliot instead of my husband. His blue eyes flashing fire at me while we kissed, gently at first, then more passionately. The soft groans that came from his throat when he pushed his fingers inside me and found me wet and willing. The way he growled my name when he fucked me.

I snapped back to the present when I heard the knock at the door. I tried to calm my racing heart and slow my breathing while I walked to the entryway.

"Hey," I said, pulling the door open.

"Hi. You okay?" he asked, reaching out to squeeze my shoulder. My skin heated when it came in contact with his, a warm flush crawling over my body at the simple, caring contact. I shivered and he pulled his hand away, I'm sure assuming I wasn't interested in his touch, when in fact it was the exact opposite. I was too interested. Too interested for a woman worried about her adulterous husband.

I stepped back so he can come in. "I think Hawk might be having an affair," I admitted.

He let out a heavy sigh and leaned against the kitchen counter. "I… I uh… I think he is too," he said.

"What?" I gasp. He knew? "You son of a bitch. I can't believe you knew and didn't tell me!" I shrieked, taking a run at him.

"Whoa, whoa, hold on. I didn't know for sure until you just said something."

"What do you mean?" I asked, completely confused.

"I think he's having an affair with my wife."

"You can't be serious."

"I've suspected for a while now. The uh, the dinner date… when we went home, Kathy started ranting about how you were looking at me or some stupid thing. The only reason she ever gets accusatory like that is if she's feeling the need to shift the focus off of herself. If she feels guilty."

I feel my cheeks heat to a deep crimson. I wanted to tell him that her jealousy over how I was looking at him was not in her head. It was real. As real as me standing there in front of him. But I didn't. I just nodded and waited for him to continue.

"I started to put two and two together and all of a sudden I was coming up with four. She's been on this kick lately, accusing me of sleeping around, but mostly accusing me of having an affair with you."

I gasped, more out of embarrassment than shock. "Well that's just ridiculous," I said.

"Uh, not really," he said, blushing.

"Why not? You guys have been married for years. You're perfectly happy with her."

"I accidentally said your name once."

"So she becomes a jealous psycho because my name came up in conversation?"

"Um, no. We were… uh. We were… we were making love, and uh, when, um, I, uh, I…" he looked down at the floor, suddenly very interested in the tile pattern in my kitchen tile.

I suddenly understood what he was getting at. When he came. He said my name when he was fucking his wife.

"I'm sorry, this is really awkward," he apologized.

"No, no. Don't worry about it. It's uh, it's okay."

"Olivia…"

"Call me Liv."

"Um, maybe that's not such a good idea," he said.

"Why not?"

"That's uh, that's the name I said when I… you know."

"Elliot, I'm going to tell you something, and I want you to promise me you won't freak out. I handled what you said very calmly, and I need you to do the same for me."

"Okay," he agreed, his adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed.

I took a step closer to him so I could whisper in his ear. "I can't have an orgasm unless I'm thinking about you."

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A/N: Evil author and her EVIL cliffy! R&R and you shall have your smut!


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Hahaha! I hope you all still love me after the evil cliffhanger of the last chapter… now on with the smut! R&R XO, KJ

Disclaimer: Only my overactive imagination belongs to me.

Dedication: To Jess, who put it so eloquently when she said "Sometimes I wonder just how Catholic that boy really is." Amen, sista.

--

I pulled back to gauge his reaction as soon as I whispered my dirty little secret. His face was flushed and his blue eyes had darkened to the color of a sky with a storm rolling in. "You can't?"

"Well," I clarified. "Hawk and I have only… you know… twice, since I met you, but both times… I just couldn't… and then I thought of you, your eyes, and your smile. This look of deep concentration with your forehead all wrinkled up. Kinda like that, "I smiled softly at him, his face mirroring what I had just said. I cleared my throat. "Your, uh, your eyes sliding shut when you came inside me."

"What else?" he asked, taking a step closer to me. I took a step back. He scared me just a little. His presence was so commanding, so intimidating. "C'mon, _Liv_," he said with a lopsided grin. "Tell me more about how I make you come. How do you feel?"

My eyes shut of their own volition and I lick my bottom lip. I can hear Elliot groan at the sight of my tongue. "I feel… so hot… and tight. Like you're going to break me. I can feel you, inside me. Stretching me. I can feel every inch of your cock in me. And then, you touch me. Your thumb just barely grazes my clit, and I'm coming harder than I ever have. And both times… both times I was so disappointed when I opened my eyes and saw my husband," I said, opening my eyes to find Elliot still standing there, breathing heavily. "I'm a horrible person," I said with a sigh.

"Not any more horrible than me," he admits.

"You just said my name once. I told you I can't close the deal unless I'm thinking of you. How does that even out?"

"You want to know how? I'll tell you. I told you I said your name once. I didn't tell you about all the times I fantasized about you. The firs time was at dinner that night," he said.

"What? You didn't even know me," I replied.

"I knew enough to have one hell of a hard on under the table. C'mon, Liv. Between the red dress and the fuck me heels? You could make a dead man fantasize," he paused. "Do you, uh, still have those?" he asked with a grin.

"Yeah. I do. But that was only one fantasy. You said all the times. Tell me about the other ones," I asked.

"Well, um, there was one where I came over here to get Hawk… and he wasn't here, but you were. Do you usually answer the door wearing just those heels?" he asked playfully.

I blushed ten shades of red. "No."

He grinned. "I didn't figure."

"But maybe I could start," I whispered.

He smiled as he continued. "When you came to the door, you were wearing just those, and this tiny pair of panties. It was like you were expecting me. You let me in, and just stood there, like you were waiting for me to make a move."

"And did you?" I asked.

"Of course. I reached for you, and my heart was racing when I touched your skin. I wanted to touch you everywhere at once," he motioned to my body, still not laying a hand on me, just tracing an outline of my curves through the air. "I kissed your neck, your cheek, your face, you shoulder, your breasts. Everywhere that I could see I had to have my mouth."

I shuddered at his honesty and wanted so badly to reach out for him when I heard my cell phone ringing from the bedroom. "Stay here," I said, turning to go answer it.

"Hey John," I answered when I saw my husband's name on the caller ID.

"Hey, honey, I was just going to tell you I think I'm going to crash in the cribs tonight. Don't wait up for me," he said.

"Okay," I replied, knowing he was probably somewhere with Kathy.

"I love you, Olivia. Elliot says hi."

"Tell him hi back," I tried to say as nonchalantly as possible, wondering if he knew that I knew he was lying. If he knew that Elliot was standing in our kitchen telling me that he fantasized about me after I told him I couldn't orgasm unless I thought about him.

Hawk hung up and I turned my phone off before flipping it shut. I stuck my head in the closet and pulled out the black heels I'd been wearing the night we went out to dinner with Elliot and Kathy. I looked in the mirrored closet door and bit my bottom lip. If I did this… I was going to cross a line. A line my husband had already crossed. But that didn't make it right. On the other hand, I couldn't sit here and be the idiot wife anymore. I didn't know how long John had been cheating on me, but I was at a point where turnabout was fair play. I dug into the back of the closet and pulled out a red satin robe that I hadn't worn in a long time. I shoved my shorts down my legs and decided to leave my thong on. I pulled my sweatshirt off over my head, revealing my bare chest. I slipped my arms into the sleeves of the robe and tied it closed. Sliding my feet into the shoes, I fluffed my hair and took a deep breath. I headed back into the kitchen where Elliot was looking at pictures on the fridge. "It was John," I said.

He turned at the sound of my voice and his jaw hit the floor. I smiled at him and continued. "He said you guys aren't quite done, and that he's crashing in the cribs. He said you said to tell me hello."

He smiled sadly at the idea of our cheating spouses but brightened when I pulled on the sash of the robe. "Well, hello, then," he said with a smile as the robe fell open. He crossed the room in two strides and pulled my hips against his. His hands went under the robe and traced patterns against my flushed skin. My breasts were still hidden by the satin of the robe and he pulled it farther open. "You're beautiful, I hope you know that," he whispered.

"You make me want to believe it," I replied.

"I'm glad. If you… want to back out, or don't want this to go any further, please tell me. I'll be disappointed, but I promise I'll try to understand," he explained.

"El, would I have taken off my clothes, put on the robe and the fuck me heels if I didn't want what you wanted?" I asked.

"Thank God," he breathed, pushing the red satin to a puddle on the floor. He scooped me into his arms and headed for the direction I had come from – the bedroom. It occurred to me that we hadn't even kissed, and suddenly I wanted very badly to feel his lips beneath mine to see if the reality was as good as the fantasy. I took his face in my hands and he stopped still in the hallway. I pressed my lips to his tentatively at first, and then deepened the kiss. I opened my mouth to allow his tongue to slide in, and it did. Bliss. He walked into the bedroom I'd shared with my husband for over a year and laid me out on the king sized bed. He pushed the door shut behind him and started undoing the buttons on his black dress shirt. He pulled the tails from his jeans as I lay there, staring up at him. He pulled the shirt off his shoulders, exposing the crucifix tattoo on his left shoulder, and the United States Marine Corps tattoo on his right forearm. So sexy. He unbuckled his black leather belt, sliding his gun holster and badge off and putting them on the dresser. He unbuttoned and unzipped his black jeans, sliding them and his low-rise briefs to the floor. He pulled his socks off and stood there, totally naked in front of me. I put my hand over my heart, scarcely believing what a work of art his body was. I held my arms out to him and he climbed in the bed next to me.

"You'll tell me, if you want to stop," he said.

"Of course, but don't expect to be hearing it anytime soon," I smiled.

He trailed a hand down to cup me through the soaked lace of my thong. He pushed it aside and slid a long finger inside me. I clenched my muscles around his finger and he groaned. "You're so tight," he whispered. I pushed against his shoulders to let him know I wanted to switch our positions. He complied, drawing his finger out of me and letting me control the next move. He leaned back against the pillows in front of the iron headboard and waited for me to do something.

"How do you feel about handcuffs?" I asked.

"Depends. What did you have in mind?" he asked.

I trailed my fingers down his erection while I answered him. "You. Cuffed to this bed. While I take you in my mouth and suck you fucking dry."

He groaned and bucked into my hand. "I'd be okay with that. But remember. Payback's a bitch."

"Oh, I have a feeling the payback would be very nice," I said, standing up and crossing the room to the dresser where I kept my silver handcuffs. He groaned behind me and I glanced over my shoulder. "What?" I asked.

"You. The black thong, the tan ass. The shoes. You're a wet dream, but I know I'm not dreaming."

"You certainly aren't," I said, returning to the side of the bed. "What do you think?" I asked. "Panties on or off?"

"Off. I want to feel you against me."

I hooked my thumbs in the thong and pulled it off, scooting it across the floor.

"Don't lose those," he said.

"Why not?"

"I'm keeping them."

My nipples tightened as I shivered at his request. "What if Kathy found them?"

"She won't. I won't let them out of my sight."

I groaned and climbed onto the bed, straddling his thighs. The silver handcuffs swung from the tip of my finger as looked down at him, his eyes burning with butane fire. "You ready?" I asked.

"Gonna read me my rights?" he teased.

"You have the right to remain silent. But I sincerely hope you choose to give up that right," I teased back, locking one of the silver bracelets around his wrist. I looped them through the wrought-iron and hooked the other one on his opposite wrist. He pulled against the headboard to test their strength. "You're not going anywhere, detective," I swore.

"I might be dead by the time this is over," he said. "But what a way to go."

I traced a lazy pattern down his chest, dragging my nails up and down his washboard abs. I stretched forward and grasped his hands with mine letting my breasts hang right over his face. His tongue snaked out to touch my nipple and I groaned and squeezed his hands. I pushed back against his straining erection, stretching my torso as far as it would go. He placed feather light kisses all around my breasts, tugging at my nipples with his teeth. "El," I groaned.

"Liv," he groaned right back with a grin. He tugged against the handcuffs, forgetting for a moment that he was restrained. I slid back on his legs a little bit and leaned over him to take him in my mouth. Closing my lips around the tip, I slid him as far in as I could, which wasn't all the way. He groaned as he felt himself hit the back of my throat. I slid back up, dragging my teeth lightly along his length. I kissed and bit, sucked and blew, pushing him to the brink of sanity and waiting for him to drop off the edge. "Liv, stop," he said.

"You're not really in a position to make demands, are you?" I asked, motioning to where he was handcuffed to my bed, going right back to work on him.

One more long, slow lick and he was gone.

A few minutes later, I crawled back up his chest and unlocked the handcuffs, gently rubbing the red area of his wrists where he'd fought against them.

"Amazing," he breathed, kissing me lightly. "Remind me to return the favor at some point," he said.

"I wanted to," I explained. "Call it _my_ fantasy," I whispered.

"Thanks for leaving the shoes on," he said with a grin. I laughed, hardly realizing I had them on. With him around, I hardly noticed anything.

In that instant, he took advantage of my distraction and rolled me to my back, quickly sheathing himself inside me. "Ready for round two already?" I asked.

"Ready when you are," he said with a cocky grin, slowly pulling almost all the way out.

"I'm ready," I said, just as he slammed all the way back inside me. I gasped at the sheer power of him.

"You sure?" he asked.

I nodded, and fisted my hand in his hair, bringing his mouth down to mine. I stroked my tongue inside, licking his own essence into his mouth. Our tongues tangled for a few minutes, mimicking what was happening farther down. I met him thrust for thrust and in a few moments he'd pulled me right to the edge.

"Let go," he whispered into my mouth. I hung on as long as I could, trying to stave off my orgasm as long as possible. When it finally came, I felt like I was shattering into a million shards of glass. And when I opened my eyes and saw Elliot, it was like all the pieces came back together.

--

A/N: Sorry you had to wait so long for that my girls! But guess what? I talked to the Kinsey-mom today (I'm 23 and my friends still call her "Kinsey's Mom") and she said my daddy ordered my laptop and it shipped yesterday so it should be here this weekend! WOO HOO!! Let me know what you thought of this chappy! XO, KJ


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